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Right now I feel crazy. I feel like an actual crazy person. Let's take it back a little...
Last year, somebody I loved very much left me unexpectedly, and it absolutely destroyed me - I had honestly in all my life never felt that utterly utterly miserable. Then for the next couple of months, we had a sort of on-and-off relationship, until he eventually told me he didn't love me anymore. It broke my heart, but I eventually convinced myself I'd moved on. I half started up something with somebody else about a month later, but he's left me too now. During this whole period, my original guy and I argued like nothing you've ever seen. We were furious with each other, and I'll openly admit that he wasn't the only one in the wrong.
But yesterday something happened that made me realise I was only so angry with him because I still had feelings for him, and I think he feels the same, even though he's currently dating someone else. I feel terrible, almost as bad as I did when he left me the first time, but I want him back so badly. It has made me feel better to be honest with myself, and accept the fact that I still love him, but I'm aware that it's going to hurt me if I lose him again.
He said he would like to see me again some time this week, and I don't want to seem really clingy, but I would kind of like to arrange something, so I have something secure to hold onto at the moment. I'd really appreciate some advice as to how to go about this :/


My rather wonderful friend *ForeverDelayedx wrote this [link] which I think describes how this feel pretty well. In fact, I think a lot of his stuff is pretty good at getting across things that people can't usually put into words. He's been really supportive of me during this whole business, and I'm very grateful to him


ttfn



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